nananananananabatman!

Time for a change

noreply@blogger.com (batman) — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 16:52:00 +0000

It's time for a change friends. Time to start a new blog.

Friday, March 12, 2004 was my first post and this one may be my last. I've had this blog for a long time. We've been through so much together and I'll be sad to see it go.

In hopes of keeping my life somewhat private, I'm not going to link to my new blog here but I will send you the link if you'd like it.

Onward!

True Story

noreply@blogger.com (batman) — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 15:11:00 +0000

Last summer and fall, we went for a lot of walks. We walked lots of the trails around the area. Getting out, getting exercise and seeing new parts of the city was nice. It's something I definitely have been missing so I was excited when a walk was suggested.

Sunday afternoon, we met S&L and baby R at a trail we hadn't been to before. We opted for the snugli instead of the stroller for Baby J for two reasons: Baby J has a flat head (parenting fail) and it gives me more exercise. The trail wasn't super long but it was nice to be out.

At one point, we were holding out bird seed hoping to have birds land on our hands when a lady bug landed on my shoulder. I tried to shake it off and it jumped down my shirt. I freaked out - a bug in my cleavage! J came to my rescue - such a hardship - and had both hands down my shirt digging around for the offending bug. He finally got it and, for good measure, squished it. My hero.

Then, when we were getting ready to go, J was loading the kid into the car and singing to him. He was singing Chubbytown to the tune of Funkytown right when a fat family pulled into the lot and was getting out of their car. They were too far away to hear him thankfully. Let me take you to chubby town!

This time last year

noreply@blogger.com (batman) — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 17:45:00 +0000

This time last year was hell.

Two nights ago I was in Baby J's room when J came in and opened the blinds. It was snowing. Snow had made the roads wet and covered the cars. My only thought was that the morning after the first snow fall of the year last year, we lost our cat.

That made me sad and got me thinking about things and about what was going on then. Like I said, last year was hell. We lost the cat and then we lost the baby growing inside of me. I lost part of me each time.

It seems silly now, but I was also unhappy about trading in our car for the car we have now. I wasn't pleased that I lost my freedom, not being able to drive a car with manual transmission. Thankfully, once I was physically recovered and felt like leaving the house again, I did learn how to drive stick and at least was able to regain that part of my life.

My life has changed so much in the past year. In a sense, I've lost some of my freedom again, but I've gained so much. It's hard though. You don't think about the realities of day-to-day life with a new baby. You just want to have one. The reality is that labour, which was extremely painful, at least ended. This pain of never really sleeping, of being fully responsible for a little person, of being physically tied down, doesn't go away. At least not for a long time. They say labour is like running a marathon. I disagree. It was like running a 10K but living afterwards is like running marathon after marathon.

This week, the week of the first snowfall of the year, has been hard. J was supposed to go back to work Monday. I was anxious because I wasn't sure I could handle things on my own. Don't laugh. I really don't know what I'm doing and together we've been stumbling through this parenting thing. Key word: together. What do I know about parenting? Not enough sleep and crazy hormones and sore boobs. And crying. And poop. So not a whole lot, though that does about sum it up.

Saturday, J started feeling sick. Sunday, J was death. He didn't go to work at all this week, which would have been great if he hadn't been sick. He spent the whole week on the couch, afraid to come near any of us, cat included, for fear of passing on his sickness. I spent the whole week parenting solo except the odd time I could convince him to wash his hands and feed the kid.

Being sick isn't fun and I'm not blaming anything on J, it's just that with him sick, even though he was home, I did a lot more of the "baby" work. We had fallen into a nice routine where we would trade off the feedings during the night, that way we would each get one good chunk of sleep. With J sick and hacking up a lung on the couch in the basement, feedings became my responsibility.

I'm not complaining. People do this all the time - raise a kid. So many of them do it wholly by themselves too. I know this. I know it's what I asked for, what I wanted. I didn't know how painful sleeping in chunks of 1.5 or 2 hours for days on end would be. I didn't know how draining it would be trying to figure out why the crying won't stop.

So when, after days of near-coma on the couch, J offers to "babysit" his kid, to which I promptly reply "it isn't babysitting if it's your kid" - a joke of ours - what do I do? Do I run out of the house, happy to be free if only for a couple hours until it's time to pump again? Do I get some exercise or nap or do something just for me? No. I sit at the computer and think about how tired I am.

Then I look at pictures of my smiling baby and know it's okay. I've been through hell but right here, right now, is exactly where I want to be. And maybe I'll go spend some time with my family.

Play and Learn

noreply@blogger.com (batman) — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 04:04:00 +0000

L invited me to a free trial class at Gymboree. I took Baby J and met her and Baby R there this afternoon. They have a series of classes depending on the age of your kid. Obviously we were Level 1 for 0-6 month-old babies.

I got there late, but enjoyed the class. You basically sing songs and play with your baby. The songs were in english and french. The games included "tummy time", dancing around, bubbles, parachute and using props like a hand puppet and a scarf.

The look on Baby J's face when the scarf billowed down around him was priceless. The kid, who has only been smiling for about a week, just loved it.

I loved the atmosphere. I have this thing where I don't like imposing and I don't like people waiting around for me. At the wedding last month, I felt terrible when the baby started crying mid-way through the speeches and then wailed while I fumbled around trying to get him changed and happy again. I thought that people would be so mad and annoyed and generally not pleased with me. But with a group like at the Gymboree class and the Salsa Babies class, it doesn't matter if your little one cries. It's almost expected. And it happens to everyone. It's nice - hard to explain but nice all the same.

The flu

noreply@blogger.com (batman) — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 03:12:00 +0000

The dreaded H1N1 flu.

I have to say, since I've been off work I haven't been paying much attention to the world around me. Note to self: get back in touch. I spend my time doing other things, like making sure my little person is fed and clean and happy. Anyways, I know there's a flu, you can't be alive and not know, but I haven't done any reading on it and only know what I've heard on the radio and from the few people I talk to.

I do know that this flu is a pretty big deal and the vaccine is limited and possibly not as safe as the regular flu shot due to it being rushed through the process and made available to the public in time. I also know that the vaccine has just been made available, but only certain groups. I fit in to the first group to get the shot because I live with and take care of someone who cannot get vaccinated - my little guy.

I will admit, I don't normally get the flu shot, the seasonal one. I just don't. I also don't normally get the flu. Knock on wood. But because of my circumstances, I decided it would be a good thing to get the H1N1 shot this year, not that I did anything about it and wouldn't have gotten it without L who got in line and got a wristband for me. That's right, you have to go and get a wristband and come back hours later because it's THAT busy. Incredible. People are standing in line for hours. How is that a good thing? Oh, and have you heard about this? The Calgary Flames skipped the lines and all got the shot. Even their wives and girlfriends.

Anyways, I got my shot last night. A word to the wise: pick the arm you get the shot in carefully. It hurts like hell - my arm is still sore a day later. I had trouble sleeping and getting dressed and showering and lifting things. The nurse asked if I was left-handed. I am so obviously I got the shot in my right arm. Turns out, I sleep on my right side and I do a lot of things with my right hand and arm. I took some Tylenol mid-way through the night.

J has actually been sick for a while now. He was supposed to go back to work Monday, leaving me and Baby J alone together, but he's been coughing up a storm instead. This afternoon, I had a huge headache and felt achy all over so I did the best thing and napped it off. I woke up feeling better so here's hoping I don't get sick and neither do you. And good luck to anyone who wants to get the shot.

Costumes and Hallowe'en

noreply@blogger.com (batman) — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 22:39:00 +0000

You know what's really annoying? Trying to find a costume for a wee baby. Most places have a few baby costumes, but never small enough. For a while, we thought the only costume we'd be able to get for Baby J was a girly one. That's right - we could dress our little guy up as a girl. That's a good costume, right? Not so much.

So I hit Google and hit it hard. I searched and searched and finally found the perfect idea - Charlie Brown. All we needed was black shorts and a yellow shirt - again, hard to find small enough, but the consignment baby store in our neighbourhood delivered. And for less than $5! We put the black squiggly line on the shirt with marker. Our little guy was a big hit at the party.

J was very creative and made himself a Beaker costume. I'm really impressed with how well it turned out. He was also a hit at the party.

My effforts really went into getting my boys dressed up so my costume was severely lacking, but that's okay. I don't much like dressing up anyways.

Thanks to A&S for hosting. We had a great time.

Snowboarding

noreply@blogger.com (batman) — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 21:24:00 +0000

J tried snowboarding a couple of years ago. I got him a gift certificate for a lesson at a hill not far from here. He rented some gear and had his lesson and guess what? It came naturally to him, like so many things do. It ain't easy being married to someone like that some days.

Anyways, last Friday night we packed ourselves into the car and went to the Ski and Snowboard Show. It was raining and cold and there was a hockey game so the traffic was awful but we made it and went in and walked around. We found my mom who puts on the show (and the two weddings shows too). It was perfect - she got to take Baby J around to all her friends while I got to sit on my butt and J got to look at snowboarding gear.

There were awesome sales and with the extra bonus of knowing the boss, J got a great deal on new gear. He got a nice board, new boots and bindings. He was using hand-me-down stuff but not anymore.

And now he has grand plans to snowboard all the time this winter. He happily talked to a lot of people and has found lots interested in going to the hills this winter. Maybe I'll convince him to take me one of those times.

Funny story: J wears a helmet when he snowboards like a good boy. And it's been handy in some cases when he's whacked his head anough to see stars. One time he came home with a big gooseegg on his forehead. I was surprised and wondered how he was able to do that with his helmet on. Turns out he hit his head on the car trunk while putting his gear away after snowboarding. Now he keeps his helmet on until he's safely in the car.. at least he should.

Salsa Babies

noreply@blogger.com (batman) — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 20:32:00 +0000

This morning was the trial class for Salsa Babies. It was going to be the first time I took Baby J somewhere by myself but I had a little freak out last night so J came with us. He drove around while we were at the class. It made it a little bit easier though I was with the baby by myself not at home for about an hour. What am I going to do for 8 months? It HAS to get easier.

Anyways, Salsa Babies. The class was fun though it made me very aware of how uncoordinated and how unsexy I am. That's the bad thing about mirrors. Baby J slept through the whole class but eventually, once he's bigger and able to face forward in the carrier, I think he'll really like it. Just like, eventually, once I'm better at it, I'll really like it.

The girls were all really nice. A bunch of them came up to me afterwards to introduce themselves and tell me how great the classes were. I'm going to sign up for the session starting in two weeks.

L came over afterward and hung out. There was a lot of crying and burping and spitting up... and that was just J! Kidding. Babies do all these really fun things including puking on my lululemon pants that I broke out today. Guess who fits into her fancy pants again! Babies, fun little people, especially salsa-ing babies.

Sweat and tears

noreply@blogger.com (batman) — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 00:04:00 +0000

I haven't been able to run since about April last year. It's been a while so I wasn't sure what to expect when I hit the streets the other day. The requisite six weeks since giving birth had passed and I was given the OK from my midwife. But most importantly, I had enough sleep and a happy baby that I could leave with J for a while.

I bundled up and went outside. Running again came easily and felt natural. It was so nice to see the pavement pass under my feet, to propel myself along the sidewalks, to pass the houses I passed a million times before. It was even better to work up a sweat and get rosy cheeks. Afterward I stretched while Sandy weaved around my legs, just like we did so many times before.

I didn't go hard or fast or far - I was good and I'm thankful for that because the next day and the day after that my muscles hurt. I'm happy I'm able to run again but I'll be taking it slow. I still have to get used to my new body.

Me and my new body are going to try Salsa Babies with L. There's a free trial class this week and a six-week session starting in November. You strap your baby to your chest, either in a sling or the Snugli, and Salsa with other moms. It looks like a lot of fun.

I'm also going to attempt the P90X workout that is all the rage these days. We have the DVDs and some weights. I just need to energy and motivation. Isn't that always the way....

Packing on the pounds

noreply@blogger.com (batman) — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 01:13:00 +0000

On Tuesday our little guy hit the six-week mark. I know I know, eventually I will be counting his age in years, but since he's still so young it has to be weeks. And six weeks is significant because that's when you get discharged from the midwives.

We went for our appointment and were happy to find out that Baby J has been packing on the pounds and is now over 10 pounds. Weight, thankfully, is always measured in pounds, though the ounces mean something at this point too but I won't bore you with those details. He's healthy and that's what matters.

It was bittersweet having our last appointment with the midwives. We really really liked having a midwife (3 actually) instead of an OB and will go with them again if/when we have another kid. We're back to our family doctor and we have to see her in two weeks for Baby J's vaccinations. I need to read up on what vaccinations are offered - some are necessary but others are opt-in types.

J is back to work at the beginning of November, which is coming up real fast. Because I know he's going back and won't be around during the day much longer, this week has flown by. I'm not sure what I'm going to do without him around - sleep less during the day no doubt - and if I'll be able to handle things. It's been so nice having him home.

I don't know what our last week together will be like. Hopefully we can find some fun things to do.

Weekend or what?

noreply@blogger.com (batman) — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 16:13:00 +0000

With J off work it's really hard to tell what day of the week it is and even whether it's the weekend. I do know that a weekend just passed - it helped that we had plans during the day with people that would normally be at work. A sure sign.

Saturday afternoon we went to my cousin G's house. Him and his wife just bought a place - an odd 3 story split-level - but he recently took a job across the ocean and leaves at the end of the month. She's staying. Anyways, it was a nice little get together with about half of my dad's side of the family. We hadn't seen the house and they hadn't seen Baby J before. Because of some crappy eating and complete lack of sleeping we got there late, but were able to see everyone and had some good conversations with my cousins.

Heading home we felt good, that's what good times with friends or family can do, but we were tired. Our Saturday night plans included nothing. That's how our lives have changed post-baby. While doing nothing, J's aunt and uncle stopped by to get J to fix a computer problem. J should start charging for his services. He managed to fix the problem and we managed to get them to feed our baby. Good deal.

Sunday afternoon we took advantage of the beautiful weather and went to a park where some friends were playing football. We talked to them for a while and then walked around. It's not that far from our place yet neither of us had been on the paths. For a while, we spoke to a man who was out with his dogs and an older couple stopped us to moon over Baby J. Want people to talk to you? Take a baby with you. It was so nice to get out. Now all I need is regular exercise and I'll start feeling more like myself.

Sunday night we had a great time at A&Ss place for a late Thanksgiving dinner. S&L & Baby R were there too. We were asked to bring salad but that didn't work so we picked up sushi instead. Imagine eating a fancy turkey dinner with chopsticks... that's what S did. Good stuff.

Soothing

noreply@blogger.com (batman) — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 02:52:00 +0000

We put off trying a soother with Baby J to avoid what they call "nipple confusion". This happens when a baby normally eats from the breast (nipple #1) and sometimes a bottle (#2) and then you introduce a soother (#3). It can be confusing and the baby might prefer to eat from the bottle and won't breastfeed. Not something you want to mess with in the beginning.

Turns out, breastfeeding has been a big challenge for us. In the beginning, Baby J was just lazy and not latching well and therefore not getting a lot of milk. Then I had to deal with engorgement - not something I would wish on anybody. It was painful but thankfully lasted only 36 hours. We were finally getting the hang of it though sluggish 45-minute feedings were the norm, when I had severe muscle spasms in my back and physically couldn't do it. The pump became my best friend. I can pump enough in 15 minutes to feed him at least once, sometimes twice.

Since then we've been through a growth spurt where Baby J was hungry constantly and I was thankful that I could pump and bottle feed him. It spared me some pain. I've breastfed him only a few times in the past couple of weeks and haven't decided if we'll give it an honest go again or stick with what's working now.

All that to say that we're bottle feeding the little guy so nipple confusion isn't as big a deal as if he had only known the real thing. And the kid likes to suck so we busted out the soother. Took him a day to get that he wouldn't be getting milk from it but now he likes it and we like that he's quiet between feedings. Mostly.

You can't deny that he's cute!

Not MY Wedding

noreply@blogger.com (batman) — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 18:31:00 +0000

Last weekend was J's cousin's wedding in Kingston. The theme for the weekend was "Well, it's not my wedding!" because I absolutely did not have it all together. Don't get me wrong: we made it and we had fun but I did not feel picture perfect at any point in the day. Thankfully, it wasn't my wedding.

The wedding was blissfully at 3 in the afternoon giving us enough time to leave home that morning. Less time away from home with a new baby is good. Our goal was to leave no later than 12pm. When did we leave? 12pm. No worries. Baby J was good for over an hour in the car and then started fussing and crying and where is the next exit?! We stopped in Gananoque for a pee break and donuts and I jumped in the back to feed the kid while J drove (feed using a bottle NOT breastfeeding, promise!)

We arrived in Kingston and got to the hotel and were able to check in even though official check in time wasn't for another hour. We got our little man in his cute outfit, I pumped and we got ourselves ready. My hair wasn't right and we were all a little frazzled but hey, it's not my wedding!

We got to the church 5 minutes before K and I's ceremony. It was nice - sweet and not too religious-y or long. Our little man was quiet and good until the organ right at the end while everyone was walking out. He wasn't happy then. But he's so cute and oh right, it's not my wedding.

The family was pretty excited to meet him but it was cold standing around outside the church so we followed the wedding party over to where the reception was being held at RMC. There were snacks and drinks and pictures and foosball.

Dinner and speeches and dancing followed. J and I were lucky enough to have some time to ourselves while everyone and their dog held our baby. I think the best line from the night was by cousin E's friend L, "Will you hold my drink so I can hold your baby?" To which I replied, "Of course". I had my first beer since December and danced with my husband. It was nice.

We got back to our hotel room around 1am. We left the baby to sleep in his carseat while we passed out in the king-sized bed. We went to the "Morning After" brunch - their choice of words, not mine - Sunday morning to wish K&I a good time on their honeymoon and then we hit the road.

We were gone for just over 24 hours. I would call the trip a success. Congratulations K and I and yay us for going out of town with baby.

Sorting

noreply@blogger.com (batman) — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 00:58:00 +0000

We had an incredibly busy weekend. We went to Kingston Saturday for J's cousin's wedding and spent some time with my family yesterday. Today was a recovery day.

I've just figured out how to post pictures on my blog so here's one from the wedding. More to come when I'm no longer exhausted.

One Whole Month

noreply@blogger.com (batman) — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 01:07:00 +0000

My baby is one month old. He's getting so big and looks less like a newborn every day. It's incredible the changes a little person goes through in such a short period of time.

You need a good camera to document the changes and ours was acting up so we got a new one. It's a newer version of the one we have. It will take us through until month two and three, and maybe even year two and three, of this kid's life.

Social baby

noreply@blogger.com (batman) — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 21:24:00 +0000

It's hard to blog when my days are so alike. I feel like I don't do anything exciting, anything worthy of writing about, on a day-to-day basis. Then I realize that we've been doing things and seeing people and that is worthy of a post.

A couple of weekends ago, we took our little man out to a party with my baseball team. It was the year-end party and I wasn't sure I should go, not having played this season, but I was asked to come and bring Baby J. So we went and it was a bit of an adventure. All the girls liked him and it was nice to catch up with them, but we stayed too long and since I'm not comfortable feeding the kid anywhere other than home, we left it too long and we had a cranky baby and a miserable J trying to change him and feed him while he was screaming as loud as he could. Thankfully that's not very loud. Yet.

On the way home Baby J screamed until he fell asleep. I felt terrible for letting my boys down - starving my baby and making my best friend upset. It wasn't the best way to end a good night, though it was a learning experience.

Last weekend we went to a housewarming party with J's work friends. A week makes a difference and I was able to feed the baby while we were there. We avoided the meltdown of the previous week. He stayed awake the entire party. I think he liked all the attention and one of the girls wanted to take him home.

He's not always awake when people come over though. He tends to sleep and we'll put him in his swing or bouncer and not realize that people might want to hold him. Oops! J's aunt and uncle from out of town and his sister, SJ, have all been over recently and so have my parents.

We've also been using the stroller lots, getting out of the house, mostly doing walks that take us by the mailbox. I'm anxiously awaiting some kind of paperwork from the government for my employment insurance. Without it, I don't get paid by my work. We've been dipping into our savings since I've been off work, but it's okay. It will get figured out eventually.

Yesterday we went to an appointment with the midwife. She said Baby J is looking good and we were surprised to find out that he's growing like a weed and is now over 9 pounds. He's going through a growth spurt and wants to eat all the time. I was happy to hear that growth spurts last only a week. I can't wait until he's back to regular growing and eating.

This weekend we're taking our social baby to Kingston for a wedding. This is the third Thanksgiving in a row that we have a wedding. It will be our first road trip as a family of three. I want to get out and do things to avoid the same thing day in day out so is it weird that I'm starting to get a little nervous?

Changes

noreply@blogger.com (batman) — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 15:00:00 +0000

When friends break up it really makes you stop and take a look at your own relationship. I'm sad when couples break up, especially those that have been together for years, but I'm happy because when they do, and when J and I take a look at our relationship, we decide all over again that we're perfect for each other.

Last week, J went out drinking with a friend who had recently ended a 3+ year relationship. J got home and plopped down on the bed and told me everything. He couldn't stop talking, partially because of the crazy stories and partially because of the beer he had consumed. In between stories of this couple he was saying how much he likes me and how happy he is with us. It was nice.

Breakups are scary now that we're older. It's not as easy as getting dumped in high school where the worst thing you have to worry about is having English class with your ex. Now it's all about lawyers and money and splitting up all the things you purchased together, figuring out which of your mutual friends will stick with you, and eventually carving out a new life on your own. It's even worse if pets or kids are involved.

I don't envy anybody who's had to go through this. I'm lucky to have had my last breakup be of the high school variety. I was young and the one doing the dumping. That was a long time ago and I didn't have to worry about any "adult" problems. Now I'm content with my life and happy to be reminded of that every now and then.

Out of shape

noreply@blogger.com (batman) — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 20:22:00 +0000

I got the OK from my midwife to start exercising, light exercising. We've been walking when it's nice out, but today I did some pilates and some weights. I am SO out of shape it's ridiculous. My muscles were cramping almost immediately and I'm already sore. When I was 19 and had mono, I was in bed for 5 weeks straight and lost a ton of weight - mostly muscle mass - and was out of shape after that. I needed a while to build up my muscles and my stamina and endurance. This time, I spent about 3 weeks doing nothing and the result is the same. I can't believe it.

So I'm starting from scratch and I'm determined to get back to where I was. I'm not planning on running a marathon any time soon, but I would really like to lose some weight (slowly, guaranteed) and get strong again. In another 3 weeks, I should get the OK to do more than just light exercise and I plan on starting the P90X workout that J (and the whole world) is doing. I also plan on running again and maybe swimming.

Swimming was all I had there for about 3 months and I'm finding I'm missing it. It's interesting, missing something like swimming even though I'm not a very good swimmer. I also miss drinking tea and eating pineapple and our nightly walks. Thankfully we've started walking again and now I can lie on my stomach and bend over without having a watermelon in the way. I don't have to get up to pee every hour during the night and hugs are closer and better than ever.

Lots of changes and more to come.

Flying by

noreply@blogger.com (batman) — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 14:29:00 +0000

Somehow the days are flying by. I don't quite understand it because I'm not doing a whole lot. I sleep when I can, I feel like most of my awake time is spent feeding my boy, and then it's tomorrow. It can be a little depressing.

Being pregnant and being a new parent is strange. You don't feel like yourself: your body is doing things that you never imagined and your emotions and hormones are going wild. It can be so overwhelming. I look down at my little guy I just spent an hour feeding only to realize I would be doing it again in two hours. And three hours after that. Sometimes I feel trapped. But then I remember that I signed up for this and man, he's cute.

Where was I? Right, the passing of time. It's true - the days are going by too quickly. J's birthday was last week and was probably the saddest birthday he's had in a while. He hardly slept the night before and there were no celebrations on the actual day. I'm hoping we made up for it by having S&L&R and A&S over for dinner and cake and then having a birthday dinner with his family. J, I'm sorry your birthday got overshadowed.

The dinner with his family was the first time we'd left the house for more than two hours. It required a couple of diaper changes and a feeding outside the house, or "in the wild" as J likes to say. Apart from all the screaming, both went rather well. Soon, I won't hesitate to go wherever, but for now, baby steps.

All of a sudden Baby J is two weeks old and we're taking him to the midwives office. I got the go ahead to start light exercise - yoga or pilates and walking. And he's healthy and has gained more weight - he's somewhere between 8 pounds 4.5 ounces and 7 ounces - and he passed his hearing test. He managed to pee all over J while we were there, but that's nothing compared to what he did last week. I was in the bathroom when I hear either laughing or sobbing coming from the nursery. I run in to see J holding the kid upright while he's peeing everywhere. Everywhere. J's laughing and I'm laughing and the kid is crying. Fun times.

I went out by myself for the first time the other day. That was my first mistake. A new mom should not go anywhere without her baby. When I got to the cash, the cashier said "You aren't pregnant, are you?" No lady, my baby's at home. "Oh," she said, "I didn't think you were but you're wearing maternity jeans." Truth is I'm hesitant to try on anything but mat clothes because I don't think they'll fit yet. I don't need that. She then went on to tell me that some store has great pants that don't have buttons or zippers. Thanks, but I'll stick with my mat pants. I already own them. And since the days are flying by, I'll soon be back down to my pre-pregnancy weight anyways.

Week 1: The ups and the downs

noreply@blogger.com (batman) — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 20:33:00 +0000

The first week of being a parent was amazing but exhausting. The days are flying by but I'm not getting much done - though I guess I should count showering once a day an accomplishment. I'm quite happy with my body and happy with the care we've gotten from the midwives. I'm happy.

We chose to stay in the hospital overnight and into the next day so that Baby J could get some blood taken at 24 hours. We didn't realize we had to wait for the results as well so we ended up leaving after 10pm the next day. It wasn't too bad though. We spent the night being checked on by nurses every shift and just getting used to having a little person to care for. Our room was freezing and J's "bed" wasn't too comfy, but we survived. We were able to see our friends S&J who were just down the hall with their new little man, C. We saw the midwives in the afternoon and got the blood work done when it was time. The results were good so we were free to go. After dressing our little man in clothes for the first time and having the car seat inspected we were good to go. I was so happy to be heading home.

On the way out I weighed myself. I put on 38 pounds over the 9 months and the only stretch mark I got is where my belly button is pierced. I kept seeing myself in the mirror in the bathroom after the birth and marvelling at my little tummy. The weight gain was gradual, but the change afterwards was immediate. I was curious just how much weight I'd lost, knowing it had to be more than 7 pounds and 10 ounces. Turns out it was 14 pounds. And after the first week I've lost another 4. The first time J and I hugged was great and it's only going to get better. 20 pounds better.

Breast feeding is apparently good for losing weight. Some people do it and others don't and it can be a heated topic, but in my mind it's a natural thing and much cheaper and easier than formula feeding. I wanted to breast feed Baby J and was pretty upset when it wasn't going well. I was pumping and J was using a syringe and feeding tube to feed the baby. The midwives came to see us at home on days 2 and 3 but by day 3 I was dealing with engorgement - my milk came in but because I wasn't able to feed well it had nowhere to go. Let's just say that I was in a ton of pain and we tried everything. After about 36 hours and all of the things we tried, the swelling went down and I was able to try breast feeding again. By the end of the first week we started to get the hang of it. Goal #1 was to establish breast feeding, meaning no more pumping and no more having J feed the kid. Done! Goal #2 is to get better at it. Still a work in progress.

The midwives have been great. Like I said, we saw them in the hospital the day after the baby was born and at home the next two days. They check both me and Baby J out every time we see them. Baby J is doing what babies should do and I'm healing well. Going with midwifery care versus an OB is another topic that divides people and obviously we went with the midwives and are so happy we did. I would recommend it to anyone for their low-risk pregnancy. We see them again but in the office when Baby J is 2 weeks old.

J and I have had many moments where we're laughing hysterically over things we're done in our sleep-deprived state or things that Baby J has done. Two times I panicked because I didn't know where Baby J was. I'd wake up and find myself alone. I'd go and find J and ask him where the baby was. He wouldn't know. How could he not know?! Turns out the kid was always close by and safe, but man, those few seconds were awful each time.

We do make a great team though. We tag-teamed feeding for the whole week and have each managed to shower every day. We're sleeping enough to function, though not enough to not be stupid and forgetful. We left eggs boiling on the stove until the water was almost gone for example.

We are so lucky to have people come to see us and help out with things - food especially. I'm not great at asking for things, but I did and you all came through. Thank you. It's so nice to have family and friends we can depend on. It's also nice to show off our little man to everyone.

Birth Story

noreply@blogger.com (batman) — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 19:53:00 +0000

There's so much that I want to say, but I really should start at the beginning. Hence, the birth story.

You all know that Baby J was born Tuesday, September 8th at 5:02pm. He weighed 7 pounds 10 ounces and was 21 inches long. Now, for what I didn't have time to type the first time.

My water broke at 6pm on Monday, September 7. I took Tylenol and Gravol to get some sleep that night. I woke up at 4am the next morning with my first contraction. I spent the next 3.5 hours breathing through them and sleeping in between, but by 7:30am I was scared to fall back to sleep because they were coming quicker and hurting. I woke up J who immediately jumped into action, grabbing his watch and a notebook to write down the times. My contractions were 4-6 minutes apart lasting 30-60 seconds. I was able to breathe through them for a while, but the pain was getting worse and worse. We tried different positions and called the midwife at around 9:30am. She said that they weren't close enough or regular enough yet to go to the hospital. I tried the bath, which totally slowed them right down so I got out. Eventually they sped up again and we hooked up the TENS machine, which is a nerve stimulator thing that basically confuses your brain and lessens the pain from contractions. It was like I was that bad little kid whose parents have to have on a leash in the mall.

The contractions sped up and got more painful so we called the midwife again around 11:30am and were told to head to the hospital. J scrambled around getting everything together and we headed out. It felt like we hit every red light on the way and every single pothole. I was having contractions the whole way and again right outside the hospital, and another in the elevator. It was only one flight up so I finished up my contraction squatting on the elevator floor in front of a bunch of concerned people.

We met the midwives in triage and got assessed. I was 3-4cm dilated (10 is go-time). We were admitted and moved into our room. I had another contraction on the way and was squatting in the hallway. We got into the room, after a few contractions I tried the tub but got the urge to push so quickly got out. Had to have my blood taken, which they somehow did while I was contracting.

Soon I was on all fours on the bed labouring like mad. Three hours of labouring in different positions without drugs. An hour of that was trying to not push because things weren't quite ready for pushing. Fighting that urge was one of the hardest things I've had to do. Finally I was able to push and after about an hour of pushing and the most intense pain of my life, including muscles cramping and the occasional emotional breakdown, Baby J was born.

He was whooshed - according to J - onto my stomach where he stayed for the first 2 hours. J got to cut the cord. I was given some drugs to help with the placenta - the quick labour and muscle failure meant my body couldn't do it without them. I was stitched up while we stared out our new little man. It was unreal, having a squirming little person on my chest, squeaking and burbling and sometimes crying. Jerky arm movements and head twitches that were all brand new.

Eventually they took him to be weighed and measured and tested (reflexes and other stuff). He passed with flying colours and was back in my arms in no time.

J and the midwives were awesome for the labour and delivery. I was at the point of physical exhaustion, muscles cramping and failing in the middle of contractions, and mental exhaustion, thinking there was no way I could do this and was I going to have to have a c-section? Why didn't I ask for drugs when I had the chance? Ow! But the three of them helped me through it all. It was the most intense experience of my life. And apparently I don't even remember half of it - J told me that I was myself for about half the time and primal-get-this-done K the rest of the time. He was telling me all sorts of things I did and said that I don't remember.

I'm very proud of myself for accomplishing my goal of having a drug-free labour, I'm so proud of J for being my rock through the whole thing, and I'm incredibly proud of my new little guy who is absolutely perfect. Welcome to the world, Baby J.

Pictures!

noreply@blogger.com (batman) — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 20:32:00 +0000

I put up some pictures on my Picasa page. The address is http://picasaweb.google.com/MYREALNAME. You should see some folders. If you have problems, send me an email and I'll send the actual link. I'm debating whether to put any up on the blog. We shall see.

B-Day!

noreply@blogger.com (batman) — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 18:05:00 +0000

B-Day has come and baby J is here! I don't have much time for the internet or to post, but we seem to be doing better than I expected we would. J has been just incredible - first throughout the whole labour and delivery and now with the baby. I don't know what I would have done without him or what I would be doing now.

Labour was absolute hell. I can say that now because it's over. I survived but I'm not sure I'll ever forget the pain. It was quick and intense and drug-free. My muscles were on the verge of complete exhaustion and I was an emotional wreck but from the moment my water broke to the moment I had baby J on my chest was 23 hours. And only 13 of that I was in labour, 4 hours in the hospital. I have never felt anything so powerful and raw. Every now and then, I look at baby J and shake my head - I can't believe I did that. That we did that.

He's the cutest little thing. Well, bigger than I was expecting at 7 pounds 10 ounces at birth, but still so small. He's a super sleeper but not a champion eater. We're getting help from the midwives with feeding and have been trying to get him to latch without much success. J is feeding him expressed milk while I pump for the next time. Hello professional milk pumper, aka cow. Not the nicest feeling, but necessary.

We were worried about how Sandy would react and she was a little freaked at first, but she's slowly getting used to him. She's not fond of his startle reflex (quick movement) or when he cries and cries. She actually yells and yells, like saying "hey, he's crying! Do something!"

We're slowly settling into our new life, our new little family. And I'm getting used to my new body.. it's a neat thing. Pictures will be up soon on Picasa, one is already on Facebook so go have a look.

No apologies

noreply@blogger.com (batman) — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 14:57:00 +0000

Today is like Boxing Day - let me explain. Yesterday, my due date, B-Day, was a little like Christmas. Only Christmas didn't happen. I tried my best to not get attached to that date, knowing it was only an estimate, knowing that most babies aren't born on their due dates. But I got attached anyway. It's hard when everyone wants to know when you're due and won't take "the beginning of September" as an answer. Plus all the doctors and OBs and midwives and techs all asking the same question. So I went and got attached. September 3rd became my Christmas.

Like any little kid who loves Christmas I couldn't sleep B-Day Eve (September 2nd). I was up late, rocking on my exercise ball, convinced and hoping that I would wake up sometime during the night to my water breaking or the intense pain of contractions. I was ready. I was excited. It was almost Christmas!

I woke up to pee a bunch of times as per usual. Nothing. No signs that labour was starting. So I stayed in bed. J got up and left for work, asking if I was in labour before he left like he always does (he's cute that way - so excited for his little man to be born and actually quite looking forward to his role in this whole thing. I couldn't ask for anything more.) I figured that if I kept sleeping, eventually I would wake up in labour. That's the way these things work, right. It's Christmas Day after all!

I finally got out of bed after 11am. I'm not sure how I made it so long without eating. First thing I did was sit down at the computer to an email from Baby Center saying congratulations on my newborn. Ug. And then the messages and emails from everyone asking if the baby was here yet. It was too much. I was still getting over my disappointment over not having woken up in labour and then to have it rubbed in my face that there was a good chance B-Day would come and go without so much as a real contraction. Guess what, if I'm on the computer, chances are I'm not in the hospital and chances are I'm not caring for a new little person.

So I was grouchy and I won't apologize for that. I think it's understandable. I felt better after getting off my ass, getting some food and going out. I went to return a shirt I bought ($45 in my pocket) and then went and spent some money on a yoga mat for J who has started this insane workout and some paintings to put up in my bathroom (-$65 = -$20 total). Not bad. I also booked myself a massage and pedicure for today. I will have to cancel the appointment if I'm in labour but otherwise I get a nice relaxing massage and pretty toes.

For some reason, getting past yesterday feels good. Yesterday was all disappointment because it was Christmas without the fun, without the presents. Today is just another day and this baby will come when he's good and ready. I don't blame him. It's warm and comfy in there and it's a completely unknown and scary world out here. But really baby, we're ready for you. Sandy has checked out everything we have for you, slept on every surface that you may sleep on, checked every blanket for softness, pawed at the toys hanging from the swing you'll spend hours in. We're ready to meet you, our little squirming man. Any day now.

B-Day

noreply@blogger.com (batman) — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 17:31:00 +0000

Today is B-Day. That's the estimated due date given by measuring the fetus early on in the pregnancy. It's the middle of a 5-day period according to the measurements. 75% of people go past their due date.

Guess what... baby isn't here yet. I'm still pregnant - huge, uncomfortable and getting impatient. I'm having a hard time being pleasant when a million people are asking if he's here yet. I'm sorry. Please forgive me.