keep the date

it's weird, and sometimes neat, how dates remind us of events. okay, thinking about it more, it's not weird at all. what i'm trying to say is that december 13 once meant something to me. something about a boy. i was "asked out" by my first real boyfriend at a school dance on december 13th. it was the start of an interesting relationship. the relationship ended in a nasty way, with his mom and her religion coming between us, but looking back, that was a good thing.

i learned about religion and how it can sometimes ruin a good thing. and about how mothers can sometimes ruin a good thing. but to be fair, the good thing didn't have a chance to go bad. we were young. it was new and exciting. but man, were we ever wrong for each other.

and so over the years, i stumbled my way in and out of other relationships, using the things i had learned in that first relationship from that first boy, but always making some sort of mistake along the way. and finally it clicked: i can do better. obvious? maybe to some. it took 4 years of my blind stumbling until i came to this realization. this epiphany.

and now that i've found the guy i'm more comfortable in my own skin. i have newfound confidence and am growing, from those first awkward kisses to the person i am now. there's nothing like the first days and weeks of a new relationship where everything tingles with excitement, but there's something to be said for the love and support you get from knowing someone so well.

"every time i hold you i begin to understand
that everything about you tells me you're my best friend"