Thursday, November 12

Time for a change

It's time for a change friends. Time to start a new blog.

Friday, March 12, 2004 was my first post and this one may be my last. I've had this blog for a long time. We've been through so much together and I'll be sad to see it go.

In hopes of keeping my life somewhat private, I'm not going to link to my new blog here but I will send you the link if you'd like it.


Tuesday, November 10

True Story

Last summer and fall, we went for a lot of walks. We walked lots of the trails around the area. Getting out, getting exercise and seeing new parts of the city was nice. It's something I definitely have been missing so I was excited when a walk was suggested.

Sunday afternoon, we met S&L and baby R at a trail we hadn't been to before. We opted for the snugli instead of the stroller for Baby J for two reasons: Baby J has a flat head (parenting fail) and it gives me more exercise. The trail wasn't super long but it was nice to be out.

At one point, we were holding out bird seed hoping to have birds land on our hands when a lady bug landed on my shoulder. I tried to shake it off and it jumped down my shirt. I freaked out - a bug in my cleavage! J came to my rescue - such a hardship - and had both hands down my shirt digging around for the offending bug. He finally got it and, for good measure, squished it. My hero.

Then, when we were getting ready to go, J was loading the kid into the car and singing to him. He was singing Chubbytown to the tune of Funkytown right when a fat family pulled into the lot and was getting out of their car. They were too far away to hear him thankfully. Let me take you to chubby town!

Saturday, November 7

This time last year

This time last year was hell.

Two nights ago I was in Baby J's room when J came in and opened the blinds. It was snowing. Snow had made the roads wet and covered the cars. My only thought was that the morning after the first snow fall of the year last year, we lost our cat.

That made me sad and got me thinking about things and about what was going on then. Like I said, last year was hell. We lost the cat and then we lost the baby growing inside of me. I lost part of me each time.

It seems silly now, but I was also unhappy about trading in our car for the car we have now. I wasn't pleased that I lost my freedom, not being able to drive a car with manual transmission. Thankfully, once I was physically recovered and felt like leaving the house again, I did learn how to drive stick and at least was able to regain that part of my life.

My life has changed so much in the past year. In a sense, I've lost some of my freedom again, but I've gained so much. It's hard though. You don't think about the realities of day-to-day life with a new baby. You just want to have one. The reality is that labour, which was extremely painful, at least ended. This pain of never really sleeping, of being fully responsible for a little person, of being physically tied down, doesn't go away. At least not for a long time. They say labour is like running a marathon. I disagree. It was like running a 10K but living afterwards is like running marathon after marathon.

This week, the week of the first snowfall of the year, has been hard. J was supposed to go back to work Monday. I was anxious because I wasn't sure I could handle things on my own. Don't laugh. I really don't know what I'm doing and together we've been stumbling through this parenting thing. Key word: together. What do I know about parenting? Not enough sleep and crazy hormones and sore boobs. And crying. And poop. So not a whole lot, though that does about sum it up.

Saturday, J started feeling sick. Sunday, J was death. He didn't go to work at all this week, which would have been great if he hadn't been sick. He spent the whole week on the couch, afraid to come near any of us, cat included, for fear of passing on his sickness. I spent the whole week parenting solo except the odd time I could convince him to wash his hands and feed the kid.

Being sick isn't fun and I'm not blaming anything on J, it's just that with him sick, even though he was home, I did a lot more of the "baby" work. We had fallen into a nice routine where we would trade off the feedings during the night, that way we would each get one good chunk of sleep. With J sick and hacking up a lung on the couch in the basement, feedings became my responsibility.

I'm not complaining. People do this all the time - raise a kid. So many of them do it wholly by themselves too. I know this. I know it's what I asked for, what I wanted. I didn't know how painful sleeping in chunks of 1.5 or 2 hours for days on end would be. I didn't know how draining it would be trying to figure out why the crying won't stop.

So when, after days of near-coma on the couch, J offers to "babysit" his kid, to which I promptly reply "it isn't babysitting if it's your kid" - a joke of ours - what do I do? Do I run out of the house, happy to be free if only for a couple hours until it's time to pump again? Do I get some exercise or nap or do something just for me? No. I sit at the computer and think about how tired I am.

Then I look at pictures of my smiling baby and know it's okay. I've been through hell but right here, right now, is exactly where I want to be. And maybe I'll go spend some time with my family.

Wednesday, November 4

Play and Learn

L invited me to a free trial class at Gymboree. I took Baby J and met her and Baby R there this afternoon. They have a series of classes depending on the age of your kid. Obviously we were Level 1 for 0-6 month-old babies.

I got there late, but enjoyed the class. You basically sing songs and play with your baby. The songs were in english and french. The games included "tummy time", dancing around, bubbles, parachute and using props like a hand puppet and a scarf.

The look on Baby J's face when the scarf billowed down around him was priceless. The kid, who has only been smiling for about a week, just loved it.

I loved the atmosphere. I have this thing where I don't like imposing and I don't like people waiting around for me. At the wedding last month, I felt terrible when the baby started crying mid-way through the speeches and then wailed while I fumbled around trying to get him changed and happy again. I thought that people would be so mad and annoyed and generally not pleased with me. But with a group like at the Gymboree class and the Salsa Babies class, it doesn't matter if your little one cries. It's almost expected. And it happens to everyone. It's nice - hard to explain but nice all the same.

The flu

The dreaded H1N1 flu.

I have to say, since I've been off work I haven't been paying much attention to the world around me. Note to self: get back in touch. I spend my time doing other things, like making sure my little person is fed and clean and happy. Anyways, I know there's a flu, you can't be alive and not know, but I haven't done any reading on it and only know what I've heard on the radio and from the few people I talk to.

I do know that this flu is a pretty big deal and the vaccine is limited and possibly not as safe as the regular flu shot due to it being rushed through the process and made available to the public in time. I also know that the vaccine has just been made available, but only certain groups. I fit in to the first group to get the shot because I live with and take care of someone who cannot get vaccinated - my little guy.

I will admit, I don't normally get the flu shot, the seasonal one. I just don't. I also don't normally get the flu. Knock on wood. But because of my circumstances, I decided it would be a good thing to get the H1N1 shot this year, not that I did anything about it and wouldn't have gotten it without L who got in line and got a wristband for me. That's right, you have to go and get a wristband and come back hours later because it's THAT busy. Incredible. People are standing in line for hours. How is that a good thing? Oh, and have you heard about this? The Calgary Flames skipped the lines and all got the shot. Even their wives and girlfriends.

Anyways, I got my shot last night. A word to the wise: pick the arm you get the shot in carefully. It hurts like hell - my arm is still sore a day later. I had trouble sleeping and getting dressed and showering and lifting things. The nurse asked if I was left-handed. I am so obviously I got the shot in my right arm. Turns out, I sleep on my right side and I do a lot of things with my right hand and arm. I took some Tylenol mid-way through the night.

J has actually been sick for a while now. He was supposed to go back to work Monday, leaving me and Baby J alone together, but he's been coughing up a storm instead. This afternoon, I had a huge headache and felt achy all over so I did the best thing and napped it off. I woke up feeling better so here's hoping I don't get sick and neither do you. And good luck to anyone who wants to get the shot.

Sunday, November 1

Costumes and Hallowe'en

You know what's really annoying? Trying to find a costume for a wee baby. Most places have a few baby costumes, but never small enough. For a while, we thought the only costume we'd be able to get for Baby J was a girly one. That's right - we could dress our little guy up as a girl. That's a good costume, right? Not so much.

So I hit Google and hit it hard. I searched and searched and finally found the perfect idea - Charlie Brown. All we needed was black shorts and a yellow shirt - again, hard to find small enough, but the consignment baby store in our neighbourhood delivered. And for less than $5! We put the black squiggly line on the shirt with marker. Our little guy was a big hit at the party.

J was very creative and made himself a Beaker costume. I'm really impressed with how well it turned out. He was also a hit at the party.

My efforts really went into getting my boys dressed up so my costume was severely lacking, but that's okay. I don't much like dressing up anyways.

Thanks to A&S for hosting. We had a great time.

Thursday, October 29


J tried snowboarding a couple of years ago. I got him a gift certificate for a lesson at a hill not far from here. He rented some gear and had his lesson and guess what? It came naturally to him, like so many things do. It ain't easy being married to someone like that some days.

Anyways, last Friday night we packed ourselves into the car and went to the Ski and Snowboard Show. It was raining and cold and there was a hockey game so the traffic was awful but we made it and went in and walked around. We found my mom who puts on the show (and the two weddings shows too). It was perfect - she got to take Baby J around to all her friends while I got to sit on my butt and J got to look at snowboarding gear.

There were awesome sales and with the extra bonus of knowing the boss, J got a great deal on new gear. He got a nice board, new boots and bindings. He was using hand-me-down stuff but not anymore.

And now he has grand plans to snowboard all the time this winter. He happily talked to a lot of people and has found lots interested in going to the hills this winter. Maybe I'll convince him to take me one of those times.

Funny story: J wears a helmet when he snowboards like a good boy. And it's been handy in some cases when he's whacked his head anough to see stars. One time he came home with a big gooseegg on his forehead. I was surprised and wondered how he was able to do that with his helmet on. Turns out he hit his head on the car trunk while putting his gear away after snowboarding. Now he keeps his helmet on until he's safely in the car.. at least he should.

Wednesday, October 28

Salsa Babies

This morning was the trial class for Salsa Babies. It was going to be the first time I took Baby J somewhere by myself but I had a little freak out last night so J came with us. He drove around while we were at the class. It made it a little bit easier though I was with the baby by myself not at home for about an hour. What am I going to do for 8 months? It HAS to get easier.

Anyways, Salsa Babies. The class was fun though it made me very aware of how uncoordinated and how unsexy I am. That's the bad thing about mirrors. Baby J slept through the whole class but eventually, once he's bigger and able to face forward in the carrier, I think he'll really like it. Just like, eventually, once I'm better at it, I'll really like it.

The girls were all really nice. A bunch of them came up to me afterwards to introduce themselves and tell me how great the classes were. I'm going to sign up for the session starting in two weeks.

L came over afterward and hung out. There was a lot of crying and burping and spitting up... and that was just J! Kidding. Babies do all these really fun things including puking on my lululemon pants that I broke out today. Guess who fits into her fancy pants again! Babies, fun little people, especially salsa-ing babies.