Three quarters

That's right, I am three quarters of the way done this pregnancy. Today I hit 30 weeks out of 40, which means I'm almost 7 months along.

I'm not exactly sure how I feel about it - whether the past (almost) 7 months have gone by quickly or not. I do know that some days I feel incredibly large and want to trade in my belly for a slimmer model, but other days I feel remarkably normal and forget that I have such a protrusion for minutes on end. I say minutes because that's normally how long it takes for someone to say something about me being pregnant, for me to bump my belly into something or for something else to happen to bring me back to reality.

My reality at this point in time is sometimes sad and sometimes comical. It's sad because there are things that I would love to be doing but can't anymore. I would love to go out for a run or not feel out of breath after two flights of stairs (one if I go too fast). It's sad because I'm crying, whether it's because of something rational or irrational. And I'm not a crier. Life gets a little comical when I contemplate sewing a pocket onto the back of a t-shirt so I can sleep with a tennis ball on my back to stop myself from rolling over. I can't sew anything without bleeding, but thankfully I have J who will push me onto my side if he wakes up and sees I'm on my back. It's also funny if I'm lying on the couch with my cat and my belly literally jumps against her. She'll look at my belly with a I'm-not-amused look on her smooshed-in orange face and go back to sleep.

Also part of my reality are the "symptoms" typical of pregnancy. For me, my leg hurts and I can't walk anywhere without feeling like I strained my groin muscles. I'm gurgly and constantly hungry. I'm hot and forgetful and cry over nothing.

The biggest, most important symptom is the fact that there is actually something alive inside of me. I lie for hours staring at my naked stomach while the baby jumps around, bouncing off my internal organs, stretching this way and that. Sometimes it's a weird stretching sensation and other times it's like being tickled or punched on the inside.

I know the movement is what I'm going to miss most when this is all done, but I seriously cannot wait to lose the belly and look more like myself. I can't wait to be able to shop in pretty much whatever store I want. I can't wait to go for my first run or when the feeling returns to my right quad. I can't wait to have a beer or two. But most of all, I can't wait for my life to change. All I know for sure right now is that it will change. I don't know what life is going to be like, I don't know how I will change or how my family will change, but I'm ready.

Now I just have to get the things ready too and I'll be all set.