Drained

The thing about a post like that last one is that it's draining. I thought about it for weeks and cried while writing it. So thank you for reading and thank you for your comments. I blog about myself and the things I've been through - happy and sad - so that you can get to know me. It was too much to write about at the time, but having it out there feels good. And if one person going through a miscarriage gets some comfort knowing that they aren't the only one, that is more than enough for me.

The other thing that's draining is growing new life. It's draining and exhausting and emotional and even gross. I had a little freak out Tuesday night (which felt like Friday because of the stat holiday) and normally I would go for a run to clear my head. Not an option right now, so I cried it out while lying on the couch trying to watch tv. I felt better afterwards and decided I wasn't going to be an invalid. So what some things hurt, so what I'm boiling all the time and tired. I took my new outlook into the next day and got lots done. Progress!

Speaking of progress, we have a painted baby room - it's light green and looks really good. J has been refinishing a dresser and bed that will be in there and we've decided on a crib. Getting the crib requires a road trip to Toronto and we're not sure when that will happen, but it will. Things are slowly coming together.

What seems to be stalled though is my last day of work. My manager hasn't approved anything so I'm still operating like my last day is in two weeks but there's a small chance it will be next week. I have all sorts of ideas for what I will do this summer and can't wait to be off so I can decide what to pick. I definitely want to swim more regularly and maybe start walking or biking. I would like to organize some things around the house and do some other things that have never happened. I might start baking and test out some recipes that would be good for freezer meals for the fall. I might start scrapbooking again or try something completely different. Then again, I might do nothing. And that's totally okay. I want to read the Twilight books so if anyone in town has them and wouldn't mind lending them to me, let me know!

This post wouldn't be complete without a shoutout to recent birthday babies: Canada and J's mom. Happy birthday to you both!

We're off to the cottage tomorrow. I'm going to whale it up on the beach and hope no one laughs at me. Enjoy the weekend!